Har Har

i'm sure similar things have floated around the internet for other teams. it's predictable, but it made me chuckle nonetheless

Philadelphia (AP) -
A seven year old boy was at the center of a Philadelphia Pa courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the every degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boycried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the "Philadelphia Eagles", whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating ANYONE!